To just sit and wait. It seems... wrong.
Especially when you have a carload of kids and you feel like you are "on the clock" in a way.
So, the other day I made the most of our time. Scotty had a shut-in woman to visit in a town 30 miles away, but hey, that town had several stores we don't have so most of the family tagged along. As Scott administered pastoral care I focused more on the temporal care- like dog food and produce.
After completing the bulk of my errands, the kiddos and I headed back to the assisted living home to wait for Daddy to come out.
In the meantime I had to find something to do. Right? I mean, I couldn't just sit there. But what to do?
I looked down and had my answer...
How my purse got so full of junk, I'll never know- especially since I never use two bags two days in a row. No idea why. I just have a bunch of bags, and I change them like clothes- making organization and finding that tube of lipstick for church a bit difficult.
So I sat and I rifled through the outdated and obsolete, and just plain odd. I cleared it out. Most of it. And how many times did I just ask, Why?
Why do I hold on to this stuff?
Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. ~Psalm 69:1-2
If I dove into my conscience, my soul, like this overstuffed purse, when would I reach the bottom?
My purse was created to hold necessities- not junk.
Same with my heart.
So, what is necessary?
But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42
And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.
And Paul went in, as was his custom, and on three Sabbath days he reasoned with them from the Scriptures, explaining and proving that it was necessary for the Christ to suffer and to rise from the dead, and saying, “This Jesus, whom I proclaim to you, is the Christ.” And some of them were persuaded and joined Paul and Silas, as did a great many of the devout Greeks and not a few of the leading women.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 1:3-7
The Lord sits with me in the quiet meantimes, and together we rifle through the recesses and pockets of my heart.
And He is merciful and gracious as He reveals those things I keep that are not necessary.
A wrong word from my mouth spoken to a friend.
And vice versa.
Those hurts and aches that I keep a receipt of, and why? To remember?
To have proof?
To log in my spiritual register? A debt I owe. A debt I've paid.
...and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
To hold or be held?
To be captive or set free from the muck and mire to which we cling?
To sink or swim?
Praise be to the Lord alone, who sits beside us and removes what should not remain, time and time again, so that in the end all that remains is Himself - a wallet full of grace and forgiveness, and a means to call on Him any time day or night- with minutes unlimited.