#NotMyEnemy

There is an epidemic of fear, hate, and bitterness running rampant on our globe right now. And for some reason we were momentarily lulled into the lie that America was immune.

I think it is safe to say we have had our wake up call.

And as my heart breaks over the strife and the pain, I have to shout it out: This is not the way.

This is not the end. It is not the end of our story.

It is the middle. The part where the characters try to make things right. And in the most intriguing stories I've read, usually the characters get it wrong a few times.

So I'm wondering this: since as Christians we live in the full knowledge that this is not the end of our story, are we willing to extend grace to the characters around us who mess things up? Or even admit that we could be messing up too?

Are we able to discern between those who are maliciously attempting to destroy lives, and those who simply think differently?

Are we willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe, those who disagree with us aren't the villains trying to destroy the world? Maybe we even have a bit of villainy in ourselves as well?

Maybe our battle is truly not against flesh and blood, "but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." (Eph. 6:12)

If my battle is not against a person, but against the powers of hell, then in all of my dealings with that person I must take one course of action every. single. time.

I must pray. I must pray for them. I may even need to pray with them.

I must look into the face of the people I believe are committing the vilest crimes against humanity and I absolutely must pray for them. Jesus told me to. Jesus prayed for me.


And when I just can't take it and I want to scream at those I see as my enemies, I have to remember that at one time I was an enemy of God. What did God choose to do with me at that time? Pursue me. Send His only Son to die for me. In His love and mercy and justice, He punished my sin on His Son. On His Son. And while it is completely contradictory to my sinful nature (COMPLETELY), He calls me to pick up my cross and do the same, to sacrifice the time He has given me on His altar. To offer up myself, indignation and all, and use His time to pray for His creatures, the very people He chose to create. The very ones He died for.


I don't want to do this. I have to. Not simply because God says so, but because there will always be another battle to fight- another person with whom I strongly disagree. Another person to rouse my "righteous" indignation. And if I allow myself to give in to the lie that these are my battles to fight alone, I will be embittered and angry forever- incapable of living in the thankfulness and joy to which God also implores me. I will have forgotten that God is God and I am not, and I will place myself in the judgment seat when I actually stand just as condemned as the person I am attacking.

I must view my neighbor through the lens of God in Christ Jesus. That is my only hope for peace and wisdom. The moment I forsake those lenses for my own fallen ones is the moment I bow to hopelessness and judgmental actions. Instead, I am called to bow before God alone. To utter "Thy will be done," and keep on living like the King is still on His throne. A heart that submits to the Lord is a heart that has hope even when they are in broken relationships at a broken time.  



So what should I do? Take action- but take it in the calm confidence of grace. Stand against injustice. Speak up for those who have no voice. Love my neighbor as myself. And realize that fighting hate with hate is pointless. As a mom who listened to "He started it, she started it," more times than I can count this morning, I do have to say hateful retaliation solves nothing. (Though I did congratulate them on cooperating with each other to drive me crazy.)



We have these words on our wall and I believe they rest there for such a time as this: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that."- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

We can only be lights in the darkness if we choose to answer temporal trials with the certainty of eternity. 

My words will only matter if I speak truth with the absolute assurance that my words are not coming from a heart smoldering with hatred, but from a heart burning with love for the victims and the criminals.

I can only do that if I first remember where I came from, where I stand with God because of Christ. 

And I must remember that true and lasting reconciliation comes only from God. No amount of organizing, and posting, and protesting can accomplish the work of changing hearts. That belongs to God. Which means that while I am responsible for my actions, I am not responsible for the results.

Seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8) May I be given the strength to live this way no matter what the future holds.

Life Dismantled, Life Content

"LOL I'd love to," I texted her. "How about when I am done doing all the other things I am supposed to be doing to make my life better? If I add one more healthy practice to my life I may quite literally fall apart."

My Sister-Friend had a great idea to do a healthy regimen together that would hopefully help us feel better with our kaleidoscope of illnesses. A great idea, really. And if I didn't feel like I was a Lego mom carrying various and sundry tasks all designed to improve the quality of the lives around me, maybe I would have been up for it. But one more thing to remember, and my head could pop right off my plastic shoulders. One more thing to carry and I'd be the Venus de Milo of motherhood.

I'd like to blame it on New Year's optimism- this draw toward anything that will make us feel successful and satisfied. Maybe this year I will follow through on my Bible reading/diet/exercise/ business/schooling/etc... and then I will be happy. But I have known that feeling at other random times as well, and this journey I am on can feel like wandering in circles around the desert wilderness. I just can't quite make it to the promised land.

So maybe you have felt this way, too. Like you know you should be satisfied, but it's just beyond your fingertips. And that maybe when you accomplish this, you can take a break and be content.

Here's the thing: it's not going to happen. Not for any meaningful length of time at least. Not with that perspective.

That aching we have to be enough- that is a God-shaped, God-shaping chasm in our lives that He daily and persistently fills. And He doesn't need us shoveling whatever self-help tricks and tips the world gives us into the place only He should occupy.

If you want to believe you can achieve great things because you are awesome- go for it. You are awesome and gifted. Many impressive things have been accomplished that way. Mega-businesses, mind-boggling inventions, huge political platforms have been built on this mentality. And they have done some good along the way.


But if you want your life to contribute to something that will last long after this world perishes; if you want it to have a purpose beyond the paycheck, then Jesus gives us one answer: Take up your cross and follow Him.

God is not in the business of making us a better version of who we think we should be. Like we have any clue who we should be. Dear God, thank you for not fulfilling my 16-year-old-self's vision of who I thought I should be.

He is in the business of resurrecting a child dead in their trespasses.

When I feel like God is dismantling my life, I have to bow to the One who I know is acting in love toward me. Because God never acts outside His love for us. Ne-ver. And if He is demolishing what I keep trying to rebuild, then I need to just sit down and let Him do His work because He is working from different (and infinitely better) blueprints.


God's plans may not contain what we determine to be glamorous in the moment, but that doesn't mean He isn't working out something beautiful and amazing and one-of-a-kind.


So if you have to mop floors? Go get it.
You have to wipe poopy butts? You rock it.
You have to pay bills? Own it.
You have to put yourself out there? You got this.
You have to be nice to people who cause naughty words to come to mind? Smile like a boss.


Whatever you do- "work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." (Col. 3:23) It is unbelievable how much more satisfying life is when we remember who God is instead of trying to invent who we are. And when we try new endeavors from the starting point of confidence in Christ rather than ourselves? That's where progress is celebrated and setbacks are just that, setbacks; not foundation-shaking catastrophes.


We can try new things. We can learn and grow and take risks in the security that God is with us and equipping us for work that is beyond all we can imagine. We can be satisfied even as we struggle.


In a world that thrives on people's lack of satisfaction, cultivates it even, we have the promise that contentment can happen here because our God gives it abundantly. We can stop clasping our hands around our things and our plans, and open them to receive His gifts. He has given us His Son. He knows the desires of our hearts. He is with us. Isn't that the best starting point for anything we try to do?


"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." (Matt 5:6)

That is my 2017 prayer for us. May we seek God's righteousness first and be blessed with the satisfaction that looks at the good, bad, stinky, annoying, frustrating, feeble, failing, ugly, beautiful around us and says, "I have learned in whatever situation I'm in to be content." (Phil 4:11)


With love.

Wanted: Perspective {This Day Thursday}

I wasn't going to do this. My to-do list is long. My time is short. What I wouldn't give for a magic lamp... ("Ya got a list that's three miles long no doubt, well all you gotta do is rub like so...")

I figured you'd get it if I just let you know that my brain is fried, emotions fraying, and I just need to get. stuff. done. But God is persistent. No amount of laundry, packing, cooking, cleaning will give me the peace of mind only time with God can offer. And I can't multitask that.

So here we sit, you and I, and I need to do a bit of bragging. My mom makes hella-good banana bread. So good I almost engaged in a drop-down, drag-out fight over it. Is it mob-mentality when its just a mob of individuals assaulting each other?

Well, years ago I was on tour with my university's choir. Before every performance, a church would provide a meal. Usually a potluck deal. Good eats for sure. I chowed with my fellow choir buddy nerds and we chatted about all the whatnots going on in our "important" collegiate world. Then one of the guys takes a bite of the banana bread and makes some comment like, "This banana bread is good. Not as good as my mom's, but my mom makes the best banana bread in the world, so..."

That set off some playful banter along the lines of, "No way, my mom makes the best banana bread in the world. No my mom does. No mine. My mom uses cream cheese frosting. My mom does need crappy frosting. My mom's banana bread would make your mom's taste like cat food." Stuff like that. Good-natured at first, with just a hint of nasty. It was more than banana bread proficiency that hung in the balance, it was our mothers' honor- and that honor rested heavily on the quality of their banana bread. I won, by the way.

Anyway, in a world where we could disown our comrades over un-resolvable quickbread differences, we sure give a lot of ground when it comes to bragging up on our God. That isn't meant to be condemnation. I hop right on that train. People say, "look at this awesome stuff I have/do/think," and I say "uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, that's so cool!" And truth is- some of it is. But I am so slow. So. Slow. To be like, "Hey look at this totally awesome stuff my God did!"

And if I focus on how my marble mouth stumbles over praising God out loud to people who have their own gods to think of, I get down on myself. Man I suck.

But if instead I think about how awesome God is, I cut myself some slack because hey, God is awesome. So awesome. And the point has never been to flog ourselves and straighten up- its been about the good news of Jesus Christ. That doesn't mean flippantly ignoring the grievous sin that would separate me from God, it means confessing and living like Jesus is alive. He took my sins to that tree, but that is not the end of the story.

So I am going to do a little bragging on God.It's totally Biblical. "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 1:31) Jesus is alive and living and active, and that perspective hit me afresh today.

This Day Thursday, I need some perspective. I need prayers for sure. But I really need perspective. God was good enough to sit down with me in Job. I didn't turn there out of Job-like self-pity. It was just on the way to Psalms, but I honestly didn't make it to Psalms.

Job 38-39 might as well have been titled, "The Lord Answers His Wild Woman." I have become aware that the times I am most apt to cry is when I feel overwhelmed and/or feel that things are out of my control. My kids and house, sure. Other people, definitely. And honestly, I felt a tad out of control this morning. I even said that, "I just feel like I have absolutely no control."

Guess what Job 38-39 is about? Control. God's control. Often I read it and play it out in my head that God is really giving it to Job. You think you're all that, Job? "Can you lift up your voice to the clouds, that a flood of waters may cover you?" (38:34) While that is definitely the vibe it intentionally gives off, today I read it differently- not with the edge of a God who has had it up to here with self-justification. Today it whispered of God's mercy and loving care for every single tiny bit of His creation. There is no detail overlooked. No decision carelessly made. Couple that with Christ's sermon on the mount and we see that all flows out of the love and attention of the Creator of all- and that extends to me and you as well. The love that nailed Jesus to the cross is the love that makes known to us that we are valued and special, and that comes without any control on our part.

And then I flipped to John 17 and spent time in Jesus' high priestly prayer. God does these things for us and then He prays for us. That we would believe Him, be one, be kept from the evil one, be with Him. I ask people to pray for me, but I actually get to read the words that my Savior prayed on my behalf.

Perspective. The things out of my control- they are going to stay that way. And if I did have control, I would sure be bound to screw something up. But God's way is better. The picture He sees is complete and just the absolute best because it is built on and around who He is- holy, perfect love.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Dethroning Your Fear {Three Word Wednesday}

It is often said that people and animals respond to a threat in one of two ways.

Fight or Flight.

Then there's fear.

Fight or Flight- that's all survival there. Survival instinct. It is something that works beyond fear. In spite of it.

Fear works a lot like stress. Its result- paralysis.

Months back, I chose a word for this year. I prayed, sought, studied. "Fearless" commanded all other words silence, and refused to relinquish its hold on my psyche. So I chose it, and was soon warned that choosing that word could mean God would mess with me in that area. The prophecy was true and I can tell you that I have suffered more at the hand of fear this year than I can ever remember before.

That being said, I can hardly remember what I ate for breakfast, so my memory is not the most reliable gauge of my overall emotional health.

Still, the tunnel seems to be coming to an end- the light approaching ever brighter.

I can move and breathe again.

Too long have I been locked in an upper room for fear of... whatever. Name it.

I put on a good show. Muddle through in spite of the crippling thoughts that threaten to undo me. There is a lot to fear in this world, and all sorts of them have been seeking the throne in my heart reserved for God.

Not gonna lie, they have budged themselves on there more than once.

I'm not using the "respect" definition of fear. I'm talking idolatrous fear.
Because having no other gods isn't always about loving something more than God. Oftentimes, it's about ascribing more power to things other than God. Like all those things we fear.

And don't think for a second that you have to wait until you are completely immobilized by fear before it is a problem. No phobia diagnosis necessary. The moment it robs you of peace in the Lord, the moment it plants the seed of doubt, that's when it is a problem.

If we think too quickly about it all, we may try to find some way to justify our fear. I'm a mom, I'm supposed to worry. (Lie.) We are tempted to give fear credit for the fact that we are mobilized to take the reins and act in our communities. Or read our Bibles. Like those fears are driving us to our knees before the Lord.

Only fear does not do that. Ever. Survival- that's different. Love. Mercy. Grace. Those gifts from God are alone what send us searching for His peace.

Fear locks us away. It is a cunning bully that gradually shoves us in with the crowd that believed in Jesus, but were too scared to confess it because of what others might do. It leaves us helpless, frozen on an ocean in a squall.

It deafens us to Jesus' words:

"It is I; do not be afraid." (John 6:20)

It robs us of the gifts that are rightfully ours as heirs to the kingdom of God:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives so I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." (John 14:27)

And God knows that. It is recorded in history as one of the first emotions felt by our first mother and father after the Fall. He knew way back when, before Creation, that we would need a Savior. And that we would need a Helper. And He delivered. Just like God always does.

God may give us more than our feeble selves can handle, but His promise of salvation and a Helper are guarantees that offer real hope. Because there is nothing He cannot handle. Nothing.

Drop-kick our fear and deliver us every day, Lord.

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Linking up today with simply wonderful Simply Beth for Three Word Wednesday!

Just Say "Amen!"

My eyes closed, I tried to muscle in a few more minutes of sleep to the din and scuffling of newly awakened small people above me. Then the phone rang.

A sick friend, a working husband. Can I watch the kids?

"Of course. Sure, no problem."

I hadn't forgotten my last words before bed last night. "I think tomorrow we're just going to take it easy. I need to catch up on my Bible reading. Maybe I'll blog."

But when a friend needs you, things change. And I thought to myself, how will I best serve the Lord and my neighbor today? Reading the Bible to myself, or helping a friend in need? Well, if I remember correctly, it was the "holy" people that passed by the left-for-dead Samaritan. No brainer. I looked at my husband and said, "This is the day the Lord has made. I didn't make it, so I'll do what He wants me to do."

Do I always have that clarity or goodwill at 6 am? Uh no. So it is here that I give some mighty praise to the Holy Spirit who has borne in me a love that surpasses all sleep deprivation. It also helps that my friend is just so cool, and her kids are sweet.

The children showed up as mine stampeded downstairs. The TV clicked on, and those two little ones got a dose of the pre-schoolday routine that we take for granted. When the three oldest made their exit, I knew I would have to be more strategic with my morning. Beginning with some quiet time. Funny, God gave that to me too. Somehow that Bible time that would have been my excuse to forsake my sister in Christ was even more of a blessing because I wasn't actually anticipating being able to get it accomplished.

And this is what I read over and over and over, "Then all the people shall say, 'Amen!'" It makes up about half of Deuteronomy 27. The Levites would recite a law of the Lord and all the people were to say, "Amen!"

I have those days where it takes all my strength to just say "Jesus."

For those other days- the ones where I am granted the clarity of mind and energy of body to follow where the Lord leads, those are the days I am just to say, "Amen!"

It is an affirmative response to the word of God.

It is the refrain of believers.

It is the chorus of the broken, whose only hope is the strong and trustworthy God who proved ultimately on the cross and in the empty tomb that He would take on death and win. He gives us the victory.

So when plans change in the dark of the morning, Amen.

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." Amen!
(Acts 20:35)

"For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Amen!
(Isaiah 43:3)

The Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10):
"Go and do likewise." Amen!

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Amen!
(Ephesians 5:1-2)

Sometimes it is in the solemn quiet of a church sanctuary.

The weeping of the frustrated husband and wife.

The crying of the physically ailing.

The shouts of the prisoner freed from sin.

The surrender of the rundown mother.

It's the melody that claims God is God, and there is no other. Amen.

It's the symphony of the broken, handing hearts to their Healer. Amen.

It's the believer, carried by the Spirit, putting one foot in front of the other down an uncertain path because faith tells them their God is the only certain thing they have in this life.

It is a gift from Him alone, who deigns to dwell with us and make Himself available to carry our burdens. Amen is His invitation to let. it. go.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

Amen.

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Linking late with a lovely lady:) Three Word Wednesday with Simply Sweet, Simply Beth.

Beyond the Mirror

Most women I know who have sworn off cosmetics have done it for altruistic reasons- fasting from vanity and chemicals, or protesting animal testing. Not me. A couple months ago I stopped wearing makeup precisely for vanity's sake. I haven't sworn it off for good, or even for the week, but it occurred to me that I sleep on this face and the skin isn't getting any more elastic, so maybe I should save my eyelids from sagging and give up eye shadow. Not to mention the money I save on not buying the stuff. So, in reality, I'm just cheap.

But I almost didn't make it. I didn't usually wear a ton of make up, but still. Every single time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I'd groan a little. There's the woman who gave up. I had lots of friends who go sans makeup, and never once had I thought that about them, but this was my face. I'd depart the mirror only to look again later and be reminded of what my face actually looks like.

I probably sound shallow. I didn't lose sleep over it, but it is an uncomfortable thing to forget what you look like. To get used to being "just you." No frills. Plain old you.

And plain old me has been reading a lot about being uncomfortable lately. My walk through the Bible had me reading through Exodus and Leviticus recently. The last couple days especially have been heavy on the laws and the sacrifices. I'd hate to be the priest on mildew and body sore duty.

Clean, unclean. Over and over. Sacrifices. Atonement. Offerings. I couldn't read it without thinking, I'd be unclean all the time! Seriously, those were busy priests sacrificing and making offerings day in and day out for people like me who fall short. Were there standing appointments I wonder? See you this time tomorrow, Aaron! On a daily basis, God's people got a long look in the mirror at themselves. No frills. Unclean.

But the craziest part of it all was that God stayed with them. These unclean people who would just as soon return to slavery or be absorbed into pagan life- God sat in the midst of them. These rules and regulations seemed a bit much until you got a glimpse of the Most Holy God making camp with them.

For I am the Lord who brought you up out of the land of Egypt to be your God. 

You shall therefore be holy, for I am holy.”

Leviticus 11:45

40 years in the desert and 40 days of Lent are not just cute symbolism. These days we look in the scriptural mirror and get a good glimpse of our fallen state. No sacrifices we offer could atone for the wrongs we have done. No measures taken on our part could bring about healing and holiness in our lives.

But it goes beyond that.

It compels us to look beyond our unclean selves into the presence of the Holy God that delivered us from slavery and makes camp in our lives.

Because He chose us.

Because He loves us.

Because sacrifice must be made so we and God can live together.

And that is exactly what He did.

Praying for you, Dear Friends, as you travel in the wilderness this Lent. I pray you see beyond your shortcomings and sinfulness to the God who abides with you and within you. He is so faithful. So so faithful.

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Linking up today with simply wonderful Simply Beth. Check her blog out- you'll just love her :)

When Life Looks A Lot More Like Gilligan's Island

Just sit right back and you'll read a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...

Don't ask me how, but my children discovered Gilligan's Island this past weekend. And with me or my husband manning the remote (so as to avoid the raunchy TV Land commercials) we sat as a family and watched as a whole new generation was awed by the magical and inescapable island of their dreams.

It's a dangerous thing- watching your childhood favorites again. They rarely, if ever, live up to the memories. Still, Gilligan's Island was entertaining, if not marvelous. It taught me a few things too:

1. Life would have been a lot simpler if those huts had been built of sound-proof bamboo. Then people wouldn't have been eavesdropping and freaking out all the time. Seriously, Howells, you think the Professor and Skipper are going to off Gilligan to save their own skin and avoid war with an island tribe?

2. The show isn't realistic. Not in the slightest. I mean really, a head-hunting tribe with only 3 members (none of which are women- how will the culture be preserved with no babies)? A dentist's drill powered by the pedaling patient? Gilligan and the Skipper sleeping and waking in those same clothes every single day and they don't fade? I know it wasn't supposed to be realistic, but when I was younger it never really occurred to me just how outlandish it all was. It didn't seem ridiculous at all.

3. Perspective matters. The show scared the kids. A guy running up and down on the island in a bed sheet. A giant stuffed spider whose legs don't even touch the ground (because their was a dude in that costume, I believe). Gilligan avoiding mortal combat with an island native. It was tense in the room as the kids seriously fretted, how will everything work out?  

Then again, I was stranded on my own island this past weekend. Hearing part of the story, the part I didn't want to hear. Making assumptions based on incomplete evidence. Creating wildly unrealistic plot lines in my own brain of what I was sure would be my own demise.

I left the port of assumption, navigated the turbulent seas of obsession, and crashed on the shores of despair.

I emailed the person who I assumed thought I was incompetent, untrustworthy, and stubborn. Seeking closure in an email is like throwing darts blindfolded. You might hit the target, but chances are more likely you'll just cause a bystander pain. Pretty sure I did that. Unintentionally, but still. I scrutinized every word of his reply. Agonized over every turn of phrase. And left the exchange more confident than ever that this person thought I was unfit.

But the scary thing is this- I didn't mean to do any of this. I avoided it at all costs. I tried to be rational when I heard the news. I sought wise counsel. I prayed. I read the Bible. I worked out. I drank red wine. I slept. I did every physical and spiritual therapy I could think of. Nothing worked.

It hit me that God was working a change in my life and in the life of His church. A change in which I played a major part. A change that made the devil nervous.

You can bet that when God gets plans in motion, the devil isn't far behind. He wants nothing more to derail the train powered by the Lord and moving in His direction.

I worked an hour on Bible study homework. Felt good doing it. Less than a minute after, my blood pressure soared at the mere thought of this person. I realized I needed reinforcements. I did what I rarely do- I texted a friend for prayer. Personal prayer. I can ask a person to pray for a friend, a family member. It's much harder to ask them to pray for me and a hang up in my own brain. But I knew I was in the middle of a full-on attack and I needed someone else behind me.

Guess what, it worked. She offered a listening ear (or a reading eye, as the case would have it). She offered to pray for me and the other person. Then she offered the exact perspective I needed: the devil sees the work God is doing in the other person, and is fighting to get him back. The devil was sending out his forces and working on the both of us, and with that perspective I was instantly placed on the side of my "enemy."

Instead of his army on one side and mine on the other, waiting to charge onto the battlefield, there we stood- he and I back to back, swords in hand, fighting off the powers of darkness that sought to obliterate any chance of glorifying God.

I was at peace.

I talked to my former "offender" on Sunday at church, and guess what, I do really like him. His enthusiasm was exciting to see and, while I know we are going to have some obstacles and differences of opinion, we are on the same side.

It was the S.S. Truth that rescued me that day. Captained by Jesus Christ and manned by one of his dear servants.

We all get stranded on our own imaginary islands. Ridiculous plot lines and incomplete information threaten to be our undoing. What truth do you need to hear today? What relationships are buckling under these conditions. The devil is looking to devour us. It is my prayer that he's kept hungry and God is glorified in your life and mine.

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Thanks for reading my little testimony here. I ask you to keep this situation in your prayers. Strides have been made, but I know that the further we get, the harder satan will work. Pray for understanding, clear communication, grace and mercy in all this- and I will pray for you too!

Imagine That! {Messy Monday}

A sssshhhhhhhhhup! tore through the air as I removed the adhesive backing from her comforter. I took a step toward her bedroom door.

"My sticker!"

I stopped. I held up the tag. "This?"

"Yeah! My sticker!"

I tried hard (really hard) not to sigh exasperation at my three-year-old as I handed her back her "sticker." You know those sticky tags they put on the back of clothes that tell their size? The kind I would always forget to take off and so wear ignorantly all day long? 

That cute little "Jumping Beans" sticker that makes shopping at Kohl's just a little too easy- that was her sticker. She smiled sweetly and clutched it close. She slept with a tag.

It's been a while since I have posted about this child, but she has a knack for inspiring me.

Maybe it's the fact that I can go on a rampage around the house about missing puzzle pieces (and honestly, some of these puzzles have 9 pieces- 9), and fifteen minutes later she'll walk up to me right properly and ask, "Would you like a piece of candy, Sweetheart?"

"Why yes please. I would love a piece of candy."

Her petite fingers will yank open the hot pink zipper, slide into the silky Hello Kitty bag, and pull out... the missing puzzle piece. "It's candy."

Maybe it's that I have several misshapen diaper boxes around the house because they have been stuffed with pillows and other amenities to make her rocket trip that much more comfortable.

Or maybe it's because she fills up her chair cushion swimming pool with a wii remote hose.

Whatever it is in her that inspires me, one thing is certain- she has imagination. Praise God for that. It's that imagination that keeps her occupied right now as I write. I'm writing from a forest, in case you were wondering. 

Anyone who knows her knows that she is my biggest challenge, but today that's a positive thing. Because her imagination is pushing me to see past myself. 

God, the Author and Creator, and the Author of Creativity does this all the time. He pushes me to see past myself. He sees what can be, what will be, and when I take a moment to listen to Him I am just dandy. But so often I stand at the bottom of the mountain. I see the incline and think I am out of shape. I see the boulders and think There's no way I'm getting over those things. I see the brush, the crevices, the struggle and think I just can't handle that. 

And that's exactly when God calls down from the mountain, down from where visibility is at it's maximum, and says, I already have. He's already been there. But love is not far off. Love climbs back down. Love comes close. Love doesn't tell me, "You can handle it." Love tells me, "I can handle it." And then Love makes a way for me. 

When it comes to imagination, our problem is not that we don't have any. It's that we limit it. We must learn that somewhere along the way. Our lives are too small. And so is our God. We might not say it in those words exactly, but we confess it in our worries.

What if we imagined bigger? What if, instead of seeing our lives as a sum of so many parts, we believed God's word when it tells us, 

"Behold I am doing a new thing, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:1) 

What if God became the variable that caused our sum to grow exponentially? I guess there is some math in the Bible:)

I don't have the biggest family, the biggest words, or the biggest following. But I do have the biggest God. The only God. And do you know what else He says to us? 

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." 

(Isaiah 43:1)

I have those words sitting on the window ledge by my kitchen sink to remind me that God knows my name. He has redeemed me personally. Which means He loves me. Which means I have absolutely nothing to fear because He has both mercy and might. 

The same holds true for you! Read God's words to you, His child, and know that He has called you by name, and redeemed you completely. He did it out of love for you, and there is nothing to fear. Imagine that!

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Today I am linking up with Angie at Inspire Me Monday! Stop over and read some great stuff!

When You're Just Not Sure What You're Worth {Messy Monday}

We're not a family that plays by the rules.

Wow, that sounds way cooler than it is.

What I really mean is, at one point every week there comes a time when we flip the rules of value and worth on their heads, and it's all based purely on a whim. That point is offering.

Our church does kids' offering a bit differently than the churches I remember from my youth. Instead of a Sunday school offering, the segment of our worship service dedicated to collecting adult offering is also a time for the children to come forward and bring their offerings as well. Big kids pass the plate. Little kids run to the front of the church and drop their offerings into the fishbowl. The fishbowl offering then goes to the missionary we've elected to support that year.

Funny thing about fishbowls- they can get super loud when you're tossing coins in them.

It is for that reason that once a week any amount of change is greater than any amount of dollar bills. I hand the kids their dollar bill and they aw and pout. I give them a handful of pennies and they're giddy. The clink of the coins far surpasses the number on the currency.

I blame their childhood naivete. I also blame my husband. Here's why:

Every October, the hubs and I attend a benefit dinner called "Christmas in October." It is put on by the retailers in our town (whoop small towns!) and the money raised goes to a fund to help the children of our town celebrate Christmas. The town businesses also contribute some sweet door prizes that you get to choose from when your name is called. Last year we got 6 months of free cable between the two of us.

This year, we received a sneak peek at some of the goods, and from the moment my husband saw the piggy bank, it had to be his. He kept talking about it. Coveting the cleverly folded two-dollar bill that served as mo-hawk in the top slot of the pig. Of course it was filled with coins, but the real hook was that two-dollar bill. He adores those things.

Anyway, the night of the banquet, my name was called relatively early on. I raced over to the table and scoped out the gift certificates, centerpieces, wines. Time was of the essence. There was the envelope, "3 months free cable." And there were the pigs. Two of them. 

I hesitated as my eyes darted between the pigs and the certificate. I had to determine which was more valuable. I knew what I had to do. I snatched the swine and presented it with both hands to my husband. He was ecstatic. For the rest of the night, our table guessed at just how much money was in that thing. Look at all the... pennies. Ooh, a silver dollar! Maybe there are more of those in there! What if there's a twenty hidden in the middle?...

We got home and poured out the porker. Twenty bucks. Total.

But for that night, those twenty bucks were far more valuable than the free cable.

Maybe you don't see it that way. But my choice put love far above money.

Guess who else did that... Did you guess Jesus? Then you're right! 

As I saw the eyes of my children light up when I handed them their offering coins yesterday, I thought about how God is always flipping my idea of what is truly valuable. By nature, I don't get monetary compensation for my job. There are times when I'm tempted to think that my lack of exciting business trips, or social contacts with important people really just reflects that I'm not really that important. 

I couldn't be more wrong. And if you ever feel like you just aren't that valuable, you couldn't be more wrong.

Jesus came to an "unimportant" family and lived in an "unimportant" town. It always cracks me up to read Nathanael's response when Philip tells him they found the Messiah: "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" (John 1:46)

Jesus called children to Him, "unimportant" by society's standards for sure, and warned the people about leading one of these precious ones astray because the "kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14)

Jesus sat before hundreds and thousands of "unimportant" people and went into detail about the blessed people in the world. They are the 

poor in spirit, 

the mourners, 

the meek,

the hungry and thirsty for righteousness,

the peacemakers,

the persecuted,

the reviled.

As a parent, my job is to make sure my children know God's standard of value.

As a writer, my job is remind you God's standard of value.

As a blessed daughter, my job is to simply believe God when He speaks, regardless of what I see. Praise Him that He finds me valuable enough to give me the strength to believe that. And that He gives me you dear friends to remind me when I forget.

You are loved. You are valuable beyond words. So valuable, in fact, that The Word became flesh, lived, died and rose for you. It is my prayer that the knowledge of that moves past your eyes and mind into your heart. It is my prayer that you believe that today, and that those words that speak life into you may spring forth into the lives of those around you. It is my prayer that our neighbors find out just how valuable they truly are in God's eyes- even in their Messy Mondays.

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Are there any moments in the Bible or in your life that have stood as reminders of how God values the things that the world disregards? Your comments and conversation are valuable- to me, to God, to others. Bless you this week!

And today I link up with Inspire Me Monday!

5 Ways to Keep Your Joy When the World is Falling Apart (Messy Monday)

It's a season of preparation around here. Preparing for what, I'm not sure, but the lack of drama and trauma in our personal lives is a welcome gift. Some may call it a season of peace, and I wouldn't disagree with that (those who know the insanity of our house, feel free to chuckle at that). Still, preparation implies expectancy and readiness, and I've lived long enough to see the seasons change. It's a time to prepare.

 

That's not to say there's not some serious soul-shaking circumstances going on in the lives of those close to me. There's a time for everything. We've read Ecclesiastes. Sung with The Byrds. Wept, laughed, mourned, danced. So, even in my season of relative peace, I still manage to fret. To get bogged down with multitudes of crazy and overwhelming issues around me.

 

In all those seasons, sometimes I forget that there's one season that remains constant:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Phil 4:4

 

It's time to fight for joy.

 

In the face of persecution, bride burning, divorce, human trafficking, death, that attitude doesn't just happen. It takes some deliberate effort. It is a gift of the Lord to be sure, and He equips us to receive it. But it's like exercise- if you don't use it, you lose it.

 

So, if you are looking for some exercises to help strengthen your joy muscles, here are five ways to seek joy where it may be found:

 

1. Read. I know- bo-ring. There are some totally rad Christian authors out there that just rock. I yell "yes!" when I read them. Underline like a madwoman. Still, it ain't nothing compared to the Bible. Having a hard time finding joy and needing a place to start? Here is a handful of passages:

Phil 3-4; 2 Corinthians 5; John 14-17; Psalm 18; Psalm 138.

 

2. Pray. Right- I'm sure this is another shocker for you. C'mon, Lauren. Read the Bible and pray. Surely you can come up with something more exciting. Actually, no. You can read and pray standing on your head if you want to make it more demanding, but you won't find anything as effective as talking with the Lord and hearing His Word.

 

I had a friend ask me once, "How do you know when you have prayed for something long enough? When do you just need to let it go?" Well, it's different for everyone and every circumstance, but Luke 18:1-8 gives us a pretty clear answer:

And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. ² He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. ³ And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ ⁴ For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, ⁵ yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” ⁶ And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. ⁷ And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? ⁸ I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

Pray with open eyes. He will deliver you.

 

If you have a hard time remembering to pray- give yourself a visual or audial aid. A clock chiming. Stopping at a red light. A text message notice. A song. When you hear or see your cue, start praying.

 

3. Let go and LOVE- Of course taking time to think of others takes your mind off your own problems, but this is more than that. So often we are afraid to love others because we don't think it will make a difference, or we will look foolish. Or there is this pressure to somehow win them to Christ. Here' the deal: Christ didn't command us to win anyone. He commanded us to love everyone. He alone is the winner of souls, and that frees us up to love.

Imagine just showing someone love without strings attached. No worries over reputation. No pressure. Just a plate of cookies and a smile. Brainstorm ways to love a new person in a new way. You can't solve every world problem, but you can love another person.

4. Get Creative- David wrote psalms, rain or shine. We each have a deep-seeded creativity planted by the Master Creator. It's cathartic. Turn on the music. Sing. Dance. Even if you're horrible at them. Bake or cook. Invent. Draw. Write. Photograph. And give it as a gift to God. This is for you, Lord. It's not much. But it's Yours.

 

5. Praise. Praise. Praise.- Pause and remember the good things God has done, is doing. And praise Him for it. Out loud. Really. Say it out loud. May be awkward. You might want to put in your earbuds and do it so people will think you are just singing along with the music. Vocalize it. Take it from your head and put it in your whole body. Write it down. Share it. Check out Phil 3-4 again. Give thanks all the time.

 

And when all this seems like a bit too much to chew, the struggle for joy is just too hard, Phil 4:4-9- the Rejoice in the Lord Always passage- gets that, and gives us three promises to cling to. Hold fast to them and know you are never alone.

 

The Lord is at hand. (v. 5)

 

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (v. 7)

 

The God of peace will be with you. (v. 9)

 



 

Thank God It's Monday: Here's to the Rebounds!

"He missed the shot! But he got the rebound!"

 

He played the commentator and baller simultaneously- announcing his own moves aloud as I watched.

 

"And another rebound! And another! Another rebound!"

 

Who knows just how many shots he missed before his rebound paid off in the currency of a basket, but that wasn't going to bother him. At all. Because look at all those rebounds!

 

It's the ability to recognize the failures, yet dwell on the good that comes from it, and it's a perspective that eludes all of us at times. Maybe that's why I started this "Thank God It's Monday" segment to supplement the Messy Mondays. We get used to going with the flow, however negative it may be, and sometimes we need to step out of the stream and change course.

 

Psalm 77 does just that. Asaph cries aloud to God, his soul refuses to be comforted.

"Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?" (v. 9)

Then he steps out of the stream.

"Then I said, 'I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.' I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old." (vs. 10-11)

The law needs to work on our hearts to humble us, but when we let him work overtime, he gets a little power-hungry. He tries to take over. To become our god.

So let the law work, but when his job is over, put him back in his place.

Because dwelling on your shortcomings can be an idol too. And it robs the resurrection of its power.

Step out of the stream, off the court, and recalibrate, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. And live in His joy.

If you are looking for scriptures in which you may ponder the mighty deeds of the Lord, look at these passages throughout your week!

 

• Psalm 16
• 1Thessalonians 5:9-24
• Colossians 2:6-15
• Ephesians 6:10-20
• Ephesians 2:1-10
• 2 Corinthians 5:14-21

 Praying for recalibration in your days ahead; the strength, courage, and wisdom to step outside of your circumstances and prison of sin and live in the grace of a God who loves you so so so much!

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1Thessalonians 5:16-18

If You Can

 And someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.” And he answered them, “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.” And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. 

Talk about drama. We all like a little drama in our lives, preferably in a book or on TV- nothing that directly affects us, of course. But man, does my heart break for this dad in Mark 9.

 

 And Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood.  And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him."

I have four perfectly healthy children. The terror and struggle that gripped this poor man's life are beyond my comprehension. Still, I can think of more than one time I have thought something similar to his next statement: 

But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”

If you can.

Now, a good Christian girl like me would probably not dare to say it in those words exactly, but with the despair I have felt in my soul over the plight of others, or hopelessness that has hung about my neck in the face of guilt and unbelief, I might as well have said it verbatim. In straight-up fear, I have asked...

"If you can."

As if I didn't call upon the One who makes all things new. The One who moves mountains, and removes hearts of stone to replace them with living, beating hearts of flesh.

And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” 

This is no prosperity gospel. No "have more faith and you can do whatever you put your mind to."

No. But it is truth. I have seen it on the faces of the strongest women I know. The ones who have gone through unspeakable horrors and been refined by the fires of grief, and come out on the other side with a faith stronger than I can describe.

 

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

It is a desperate thing to call out to the Lord when there are simply no other options left, because you know you have tried them all. But that doesn't keep the Lord from helping you. So often our last resort, when He should be our go-to guy, yet He works in us all the same.

And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.

If you are struggling with whether or not God can remedy your circumstance, let me tell you- He can.

If you are struggling because you know God can, you just don't know if He will, take heart. God is not unsympathetic, and His is not far off. In fact, He is just the opposite:

 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:15-16

We do not have a God who sits on His throne making arbitrary decisions about whether or not to please us. We are dearly beloved children of the Great Physician, who works on our broken selves and whispers in our aching ears, "Just keep watching, and wait. It is going to be so worth it."

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2nd Corinthians 4:16-18

 

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Messy Monday: Found

Yesterday was a moment to let dishes sit and lunch turn to crusty cement on our kitchen table, because my kids were ready to play outside. I was ready to play too.

 

We headed into the sunshine to run, bike, and roller skate while the men-folk played football in the yard. My three-year-old emerged from the cluttered garage with a packet of cilantro seeds that had apparently been shuffled into the unknown for the duration of the summer, as well as a package of Easter stickers from goodness knows where. She toted both in the woven white and magenta basket on her bike until a moment of enlightenment.

 

An impromptu game of hide-and-seek sprouted organically from our play. I climbed atop the tube slide, pressed against the wooden wall of our church's ark. I heard her giggles as she found her sister and they set off in search of me. One minute later a laughing face shouted, "I found you!" I was caught, but there was a consolation prize. "You want a sticker?" For each time she found me I was given a shiny Easter sticker, and of course so was she.

 

I drove to pick up our pizza, stickers emblazing the fact that I was a proud parent of a preschooler. I owned every bit of it.

 

To bear the marks of my daughter is a gift.

 

To bear the marks of my Savior, immeasurably greater.

 

For the run-down, bone-weary moments, we have a Savior who points to our lives and says,

 

Remember when I found you?

 

When we are tempted to feel failure as our very definition, He points to our lives and says,

 

Remember when I found you?

 

As though we could be emblazoned with days and moments that sing for joy, I belong to Christ!

 

 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

 

As though we could roll out of bed to the sight of our Savior smiling in the morning sun,  Found you.

 

when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
 

Remember when you hid behind your pride,

And I found you?

 

Remember when you couldn't see a way out of the darkness,

And I found you?

 

Remember when people were cruel and you cowered inside yourself,

And I found you?

 

Remember when the pain covered you with a patchwork of injury,

And I found you?

 

Remember when your anger was so great you feared it would consume you,

And I found you?

 

 for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

Psalm 63:5-7 

 

Over and over until our whole lives are just enormous testimonies to the Founder and Foundation.

 

Three Word Wednesday: Eight Days Later

I sit in the silence, rocking in the wake of yet another child's puking episode, but it is too close to rise and shine, so how about I get in that quiet time I have been neglecting? I open my study book and Bible and get down to business, making connections, having epiphanies, and all before 6 am.

 

I am directed to look up yet another passage when I feel that familiar tug on my lazy nature. "Just skip it. You know that passage. Ok, maybe if you don't you'll at least figure out what it is from the context of the lesson." Reluctantly, I will my hands to escort the fragile pages left and find myself eye to text with the story of Doubting Thomas (poor man to have a label like that, like Rahab the Harlot). I say a quick prayer as I peruse the words, that the Lord would open my eyes to something that sticks- something beyond what I've read before. It sounds altruistic, but really I am just tired and I want to make sure this is "worth it." (Yuck, Lauren. Really? Yes, really. I can be selfish even when I'm reading the Word.)

 

But you know the Lord (or if you don't, you should). He delivers on His promises even when we are tired and whiny, and His Word definitely did not return void. It hit me hard, and I've been puzzling on it for a few days now.

 

 Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin,was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.”  Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:26-29

 

"Eight days later?!" Wait, what? Did I know that? Surely I must have read that, maybe studied it even. But then why did I not see it before?" (Yet another case for rereading and praying while reading the Bible, no matter how many times you've seen it.)

 

Eight days later. A couple weeks ago my daughter asked what time period I would go back to if I could go for just one day. I would like to put this eight days in my top ten. It just has me asking these questions like,

 

- Jesus obviously knew what disciples would be present when He first arrived, so why did He come when Thomas was gone?

 

- Was it because of something with Thomas, or was He giving the disciples a chance to evangelize to one of their own? (Even us believers need some evangelism, no?)

 

- And if He knew Thomas wouldn't believe them, why didn't He just come back in an hour to show Him?

 

- Why did He let Thomas struggle in His unbelief when He could have just shown Him right then and there that He was back?

 

- Why didn't Thomas believe his friends? Were relationships damaged after the crucifixion? Was he just stubborn? Was He hurt that Jesus revealed Himself to the other ten, but seemed to leave Him out of it? (Ouch, that would hurt.)

 

- Was he afraid to face Jesus? After all, he had deserted Jesus too. Maybe he was afraid he had done something unforgivable. Jesus had spoken peace to the others. He had breathed on them, given them the Holy Spirit. Thomas had missed the crucial sending of the disciples and gift of forgiveness.

 

- Did Thomas try to make the others doubt what they had seen? Did he just have to be right?

 

I'm not sure of any of those answers really, but it did bring to mind some things I do know.

 

- We can evangelize til we're blue in the face, but if that person doesn't come face to face with who Jesus is and what He did, they won't believe. And half-pictures of Him are no good. He died AND rose!

 

- We can't make anyone believe, that's God's job, but that doesn't mean witnessing is a waste of time. Witnessing is a blessing from God. We have seen the Lord!

 

- It's not all about the outcome of our present circumstance. We want to skip the hard things, get to where things are good. So we rush it. We push our questions to the back burner and act like things are fine, because maybe if we act like it, that will make it happen. Jesus is okay with the struggles. He waited to show Himself, not because He didn't care or love Thomas. He knew exactly what Thomas needed, and delivered accordingly. God works within our struggles, and He loves us enough to wait until the time is right.

 

- Pride is always a snare. When our stubborn need to be right keeps us from celebrating the Risen Christ, we need to step back and be willing to conceive that maybe there is a better way beyond what our eyes have seen.

 

- You're mistakes don't have to define you. Failing once is not failing forever. Thomas had the opportunity to exercise true faith and he missed the boat. He wouldn't let that same mistake happen again. Years later he would have the opportunity to declare unbelief once again. Instead, he prayed to the Jesus he could no longer see and was run through with a spear. Sounds like a happy ending to me.

 

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