Thursday, January 15, 2015

Hey, Me, GET OUT OF MY WAY! {This Day Thursday: Freedom}

So I've been in the midst of quite the internal struggle. Quite. At least, I think that's what it is called when you aren't sure you really love what you are doing, or who you are being, or how you are spending your time. You know, when things in your life change, but other things stay the same and you aren't sure if you should keep doing the same thing and ignore the freight train that is the rest of your life, or hop into a freight car and leave the same old thing behind.

Basically- to blog or cash my chips in. House wins.

Too many metaphors?

My first decision in this whole struggle was fabulous. I started reading Jeff Goins' book, You are a Writer (So Start Acting Like One). I love his blog, so when his ebook came up on sale I whooped and downloaded it to my daughter's kindle. Months later I got my own kindle and actually started reading it.

Goins compared writing to a relationship he had that just needed to end. I pondered my relationship with blogging. Unable to conceive of abandoning writing, I contemplated what I really love to write.

Fiction. No brainer. It's my candy. I indulge, but sparingly.

So there you have it. My dirty secret. I'm a fiction writer at heart.

I mentally wrote my breakup letter to the blog. It's not you. It's me. 

But I guess I'm just not done yet. Because so much good happens here.

And the good is about to multiply. Less pictures maybe. Less neat and tidy lessons- seriously, this blog is the tidiest thing in my life. (I'm just speculating here, but I think that's one of many reasons why there are so many mommy bloggers. Honestly- you don't see random words strewn pell-mell across the page. No one walks onto the screen and drops their stinky words everywhere, thereafter becoming immediately oblivious to their deposits. Even chaotic thoughts appear in straight lines.) There will be more variety. More life. I've started making crazy good food. So if I can share that with you, why the heck not? Or if there is a lesson better illustrated in fiction, I'm going to go for it.

Writing hasn't been the issue. I keep getting in my own way. You ever do that? Use the word can't for no reason other than imaginary expectations?

Ugh. I hate imaginary expectations. And then someone asks me why I do something and I have no idea why except the little voices that sound a lot like me tell me I should do it.

Done with that. At least in this arena. Now I'm stepping out and hoping you will walk with me. Will you? Let's get wild in the random, untidy beauty that is life and may our steps resemble the dance it really is. That's where real growth happens. So if you need a little growth in your own life, let's do this thing together, shall we?

Break it down.

Do you ever get in your own way? 

Have you ever thought maybe you are getting in the way of a bigger plan God has waiting for you?

Remember: "For freedom Christ has set us free..." (Galatians 5:1) Don't be a slave to your own expectations.